Desert bikes

Be the love who enhances his life

I call my husband and kids my “Loves”—this term of endearment says “they’re mine and I love them with a current and active sort of love.” See how often I can express my love this way?

“How’s your day going, Love?”

“Do you need anything, Love?”

“Would you be a Love and bring me a glass of water?”

You’re mine, I need you, I loved you then and I love you still

Kate Hiller "I love My Man"

We are called to actively love our husbands in the book of Titus—not a passive love, dictated by how we feel that day.

Or if they are worthy that day.

They are worthy because God said they are.

Loving our man is to continually seek ways to enhance his life—enhance or magnify or amplify or boost.

Join your man in active pursuits

An active love.  I get it.  

My Man is as active as they come and always has been.  I think his mom sent him off to school, alone and on a bike,  before he could even tie his shoes.  Never mind the busy street.

“The teacher called and thanked me for getting his energy out before he got to school.”

I have followed suit, always looking for ways to help him get that energy out.

“Love, maybe that ride deep down into Mexico on your motorcycle is a good idea after all.”

Looking for adventure

Where’s the action?

With that said, I think I am boring him.

All of the reflection and backstory on this blog are losing My Man’s interest. Where’s the promised adventure?

“I’ll write one more post with my sappy musings, Love, and then on to an adventure.”

I did promise adventure here, but I thought our entire early marriage was one big adventure!  Here are more of those differences between men and women:  differing perceptions of “action” and men generally dislike a break in the action.


BITD Break in the action

A break from the action

When I read my current fiction project to the family, all three “men” independently said they felt tense whenever there was a flashback.  A flashback felt like a “break in the action”, passivity,  and they dreaded them. Female readers may feel the same way, but my guess is that women are generally more reflective than men.  When a woman tells a story she is likely to jump around, making sure to include the romance and the emotion.  Men would rather scrape their fingers on a chalkboard!

They prefer to forge ahead with breakneck speed.

Someone said that men don’t enjoy movies unless they feel they’ve experienced and survived a life-and-death adventure.  Maybe they feel the same way about life—they crave action to truly live.

I doubt I’ll ever write a great action story…and too much action in a movie is my cue to go to bed.  But, as with my first book, I’ll continue trying to write enough action to keep the men interested.   Reading books out loud is one of our treasured evening activities and I’m always on the lookout for one they will all enjoy.

Action book, movie or adventure—my men seem to want me right there with them.  

Titus 2 Adventures

How do I enhance, magnify or amplify his life?

So men crave action and we are to actively love them—how do we do that?  I am still learning, and God would have us learn from other women—thus the Facebook group: Titus 2 Marriage Adventures. Come join us!  I want to learn from you.

The women in the group have been having fun sharing how they “love” their husbands by joining them on various “adventures”.  Adventure looks different for each couple—how to “love” will look different, as well.  Watch to see how your husband leads.

Action and adventure come in many forms—not just the Hiller-over-the-top kind. 

Every picture and story shared on Titus 2 Adventures is miraculous—two imperfect people committed to finding joy together, often sacrificially.  It’s easy to see in every picture how both lives were enhanced—magnified—with active love.

Our guiding verses for the group are Titus 2:4-5:

“Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

God is glorified when we let go of the “me” and instead embrace those “Loves” He’s given us—our children, our husband, those around us.  In my last post I was just beginning to understand this truth.

Rose of sharon

The beauty of letting go of “me”.

The realization of my own sin combined with my desire for truth and wisdom were life changing.  It was clear that I needed to honor my husband with my use of time while he was away.

I was baptized, faithfully started reading God’s Word, and had a burst of productivity—I was a machine! I made a quilt for My Man, rice bags for every member of our family (the kind you heat in the microwave for your aches and pains),  and then baked bread for Christmas presents.  I can look back on those days with satisfaction—I used every skill I could glean from the women in my life.

Still learning from Titus 2 women

My life has been greatly enhanced by Titus 2 women all along my journey and I want to introduce you to one who recently blessed our family.  She would never boast of being a Titus 2 woman, but she truly personifies the verses.  I am that “younger woman” watching her, as she, without a word, demonstrates God’s Word.

I met her about twelve years ago and, every time I see her, it is refreshing, like that ray of sunshine after a spring shower.  She exudes beauty.

I know the attraction is Jesus in her.

Our paths crossed every so often over the years, and then I rediscovered her as a guitar teacher for our son.  Soon she invited us to her family’s Easter sunrise service—a short race down the road from us.

Be the beauty who inspires beauty

He is risen

Easter worship sunrise

Worshiping the One who is love and who keeps pursuing us with an active love.

I noticed something powerful about my friend— her ways bring honor to her husband and family. Without even meeting her family I thought highly of them. She keeps a beautiful home and then shares it.  Her hospitality, her quiet nature, her love of the Lord all enhance her family.

So we don’t necessarily have to go on wild adventures to love, it can be a quiet love.  But there is still action there—keeping the house and garden in a fashion that pleases him, keeping a supply of good literature, cooking his favorite meals, inspiring good physical health for the whole family, worshiping together…

This is not a passive love.

The beautiful work of my friend’s hands inspired me to go home and put in more effort.  Then I asked if my kids could come take pictures at her house.  To share glimpses of the countless corners of beauty.

Learn from the active love of God.

We only have to look to Jesus to see active love: He keeps, searches, encourages, listens, heals, comforts, abides, weeps, follows, continues, remains, provides, admonishes, prays, converses, instructs, leads, protects, creates, sacrifices, conquers, seeks…there is no end to His active love.

He knows us.  Seek to know your “Love”.

Jeremiah 31:3:

“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love.”

Kate Hiller "Be the love, boost, enhance, heighten, amplify, the life of your man"

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